Ever since Brett Young became a husband and father to two little girls, he’s had to rethink his definition of romance. When it comes to nurturing the love between him and his wife, he says, “I think the number one thing right now is being intentional about creating time for each other. With one kid it was hard, with two kids it’s really hard.”

While flowers and candy are sweet gestures when you’re young and dating someone, Brett says, “those are things that can be done without making time. You can leave ‘em on the kitchen counter and then act like that’s enough. And I think creating time where you specifically can check in with each other and have conversations and stay connected, I think it’s the most romantic thing you can do, is actually continue to remind them that you’re interested in how they’re feeling, and listen, and have that open dialogue.”

No matter how exhausting parenthood or life in general can get, Brett believes time is the most romantic thing you can give your partner, because he says, “It’s the easiest thing to forget to do when you’re busy, especially when you can justify spending that time on the kids instead. They need that time, and that’s the one thing that you could totally justify getting in the way of that part of your relationship. But that’s important to a relationship. And so, I think being intentional and setting that time aside is really important.”